Adventures of a Girl Janitor

Obsessive Interests: Talent Shows and Representation

Panda Ross, the disappearing X Factor Contestant

As a kid, I loved watching talent shows. My favorite was It’s Showtime at the Apollo; my stepbrother and sister tuned in every week and I loved it. I especially liked that the audience controlled the outcome; it was really just about giving everyone a change to do their thing. After I moved out, I continued to watch until they changed the format a while back. I don’t know what bugged me about it, probably just that I dislike change, period.

Sometime in 2007 or 2008, I started watching talent shows again, starting with the ubiquitous American Idol. This was around the same time that a rather incredible sea change rocked my life, and everything I did seemed entirely new to me-very few proscriptions carried over from my “old life”.

As time went on, I started watching all of them. The Voice, X Factor, X Factor US, America’s Got Talent, Britain’s Got Talent, RuPaul’s Drag Race, and the list goes on. I also watch clips from other countries’ talent shows on youtube. For a while I think I was vaguely embarrassed by my habit, until I thought about *why*: it’s something that teenage girls supposedly -do-, and “everyone knows” that once teenage girls start doing something, it automatically becomes worthless and worthy of mockery. So, I stopped being vaguely embarrassed.

I think two random things this week finally highlighted for me *why* i do this, and it’s ridiculously obvious once I say it…

This is the only chance I get to see people like me on television.

Tags: talent shows representation people of color people with disabilities POC PWD X Factor The X factor American Idol Americas Got Talent Britain's Got Talent youtube singing contests talent contests diversity human difference

I just discovered something that has genuinely upset me.

Shirlena Johnson’s audition for The X Factor was was of the most riveting, creative performances I’ve ever seen. Me and my partner watched it together a week or so ago, and at first we were like “huuh?” and then were were like YES PERFECT. And her banter with the judges afterwards was like, HA HA SHE TOLD AT YOU!

I have a habit-and that habit is talent shows. I grew up watching It’s Showtime At The Apollo and Starsearch, and I love the plethora of talent shows that have cropped up all over the world in the wake of the success of American/Pop Idol. I generally watch entire contiguous seasons of them after they’re done airing.

I was only able to get the first few episodes of TXF, but i was so intrigued by Shirlena Johnson that I wanted to look her up and see if she had an album or something out.

I was beyond chagrined to find out she was kicked off the show because the producers supposedly discovered belatedly that she had some kind of mental health history.

Despite the fact that she’d lost her chances at a beauty pageant because of her audition, AND despite the fact that THE PRODUCERS ALREADY KNEW ABOUT HER MENTAL HEALTH HISTORY.

I’m fucking heartbroken.

What. The. Fuck.

She was NEVER kicked off by the judges. She made it through EVERY round. She was innovative and refreshing, unpredictable and exciting. She was so good BECAUSE of who she is, not despite it.

And the worst part is, this was supposedly done in the name of what was “Best” for her.

So I looked her up some more, and here’s a Youtube video of her more recent material.

BREAK 6 CHAINS BY SHIRLENA JOHNSON

It’s like somewhere between Macy Gray, Yoko Ono, and like…weird 60’s psychedelic something.

I’m a fan.

Tags: Shirlena Johnson music awesome psychedelic disability mental illness discrimination talent shows beauty ableism